Thursday, 22 May 2014

When Love Comes To Town, episode 2: Love and war on Kangaroo Island

“I love reading romance novels because I like the happy endings. My favourite romance novel is Fifty Shades of Grey,” she says.
“People have started to notice that I am a little bit of a flirt,” says Rebekah, as she strides confidently off the bus in a shirt that could be left on during heart surgery.

Yeah, Rebekah. We noticed.

Kangaroo Island’s most eligible blokes are Tom and Gav. Look, we don’t mean to be shallow, but they’re not quite as dreamy as the Margaret River lads from last night’s episode. Kangaroo Island, step it up.

 Tom is a 31-year-old mechanic-slash-farmer, which we’re guessing is the Kangaroo Island equivalent of being an actor-slash-model.

Gav is a stonemason, which leaves the ladies confused. “He said something about stone? Hedging? What is that?” asks Abbey.

Both these island boys have their lives sorted — house, job — but no girl.

“I can usually tell when I like a guy if I feel a bit sick,” says 24-year-old corporate PR worker Renee, who may be confusing love with gastro.

The group date

With the girls fairly evenly split between Tom and Gav, it’s time for these two blokes to turn on the charm. Tom takes the girls to his fish farm.

“For the country lifestyle, you do have to get dirty. To see them having a go at that gives me an idea of what they’re about,” he says. Tom, you hornbag.
They have to bait hooks to fish, and Rebekah’s the first to get among the rotting fish heads, despite the fact she’s a vegetarian. Clearly she’s never heard Meatloaf’s classic I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That).

Afterwards, Rebekah and Tom scurry off to the bushes for some awkward one-on-one flirting. Rebekah says she loves Tom’s eyes — “I’m swimming in them” — but when pressed, can’t actually remember what colour they are.

Stonemason Gav takes the girls to his house to break rocks. Basically it’s hard labour — not so much a group date as a chain gang.

“I can see very quickly that this group date’s going to sort it out for me; it’s going to make my mind up,” says Gav. We’re confused — is he looking for a girlfriend or an apprentice?

During the group date, Gemma mentions to Gav that she has a seven-year-old son, which doesn’t scare him off. “I’ve been in this situation before,” he says.

 Back on the fish farm, Tom takes Monica aside for a little one-on-one chat. For some reason, he’s suddenly drenched from head to toe, while she stays dry. What’s the story — does he sweat profusely when feeling romantic? Did one of the other girls think she was on Man O Man and push him into the fishpond?

Gav takes Sydney accountant Shelley aside for a chat of their own. He’s concerned he hasn’t yet gotten to hear much from her.

“Well... I love snow. It’s probably one of my favourite things in the world. I’m a little bit obsessed with it,” she tells him.

So there you go, Gav. Shelley loves snow.

Solo dates

For their solo dates, Tom picks Rebekah The Flirt (who helpfully says “I’m up for anything”) and Kelly the 29-year-old babysitter.

Gav’s decision isn’t quite so easy: he explains that there are two girls he’s physically attracted to, and another two he connects with intellectually. “I’ve got the classic boy’s decision: Do I chase rainbows?” he says. We’re not sure that’s a Classic Boy’s Decision so much as a Mariah Carey song lyric.

Gav picks snow bunny Shelley and young mum Gemma. He never does tell us whether these are the two who stimulate his mind or his ... swimsuit area.

 Gav says he wants to cement the idea of Kangaroo Island being an ‘enjoyable place to live,’ so takes Shelley …. fishing. They’re confronted by a marauding flock of pelicans, one of whom hits Shelley in the face. Totes romantic babes.

On his date with Gemma, Gav asks her how likely she would be to consider staying on and giving things a go. She says it would be difficult because she has to stay near her son and his father, which begs the question: Why did she go on this show in the first place?

Gemma then tells Gav that she doesn’t want any more children, while he does. Something tells us Gemma’s getting back on that bus.

For his date with Kelly, Tom takes her oyster shucking. Kelly finds oysters disgusting. “They taste like snot,” she squirms.
Rebekah scores a more civilised date with Tom, as he takes her for a day exploring Kangaroo Island, finishing up with a pub lunch.

Time to choose

It’s time for the girls to decide whether to get back on the bus, and it’s bad news for Gav. Gemma lets him down first, and then it’s Shelley’s turn: “You’re one of the most perfect guys I’ve ever met, but the reason this is so hard is because of the isolation of the island, and I would never want to resent you for that,” she tells him.

Shelley, you’ve specifically signed up to meet a guy living in a regional and remote area — you can’t really use that as a reason not to date him.

Any more luck for Tom?
Rebekah’s first, and as she tells him her reason for getting back on the bus is that she just couldn’t cope with living in such a rural, remote area, a big bug lands in her eye, which kinda validates her point.

Finally a happy ending though — Kelly stays! We’ll check in next week to see how she and Tom are getting on.

Last episode’s match

This episode we also checked back in with last night’s love match, JJ and Adam at Margaret River. Has romance blossomed? Ish. JJ says she finds Adam “hot” but “mildly irritating”.

“I don’t know whether I want to kiss him or kill him,” she says.

The romance has to stop for now, as JJ’s heading home to Melbourne, but they have plans to see each other again.

Adam says he wants her to stay forever. “I just love her to bits.”

When Love Comes To Town episode 3 screens next Tuesday, May 27 at 8:30pm on Channel Nine.

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